Waiting and Wondering

Good morning fellow "waiters" and other friends. I just thought I'd share a word of encouragement that the Lord gave me while I am "waiting" for promises to come to pass...

I had become really frustrated with the waiting process recently. I had been getting up early every morning to spend time in the Word and in prayer. I did good for a few weeks, but as waiting turned to more waiting I got really discouraged. I tried to pray, but I told the Lord "I don't even know what to say. I'm so tired and there are no words that I can offer that would be a good gift of worship". Discouraged in praying, I turned to catching up chores in the morning hours. But every night this week as I took the dogs out, I was struck with the breath-taking view of the brilliant stars on a crisp and crystal clear velvet sky. I would stand under them and say to myself "some day this week, I really need to sit out here and enjoy the stars". But each day, I seemed too busy. But even in the busy times, the Lord would take those outside opportunities to turn my gaze heavenward to the stars. He began to speak.

The first day He said, "Gina, I am here". I thought, "yeah, I know".

The second day He said, "Gina I am here." I said "I know God, but sometimes it doesn't seem like it".

The third day He said, "I will never forsake you". And I cried. That was the feeling I had been feeling that I couldn't put my finger on…forsaken. Forsaken because I felt He had forgotten His promises or was unconcerned that it was so hard for me to have faith. Although often reminded of Abraham and Sarah and many others, I wondered, if miracles like that, or faith that persevering still comes today. I have never heard of a wait that has been so long for a promise so personal in anyone I've known in years and years and years. I didn't understand. Maybe I was being foolish in believing. Maybe I was waiting, when I should be moving on. Maybe God had forsaken me. Yes, I felt forsaken, until He spoke. And you know, when He speaks, He shines the light of truth abroad in the hearts of men and I knew He had not forsaken me. What peace. I was not forsaken, and there was great peace in that. But I still did not understand.

This morning, I saw the stars again. This time, I put on my flip flops, pulled my coat around my pajamas and dragged a kitchen chair to the middle of the backyard. (Good thing it was dark, huh). And I just enjoyed the stars. I thought about how beautiful they were and how much we know about them and then I thought about how much we don't know. And how even if we searched as far as we can go, there will always be more to discover. What God has created, how He created it and the purpose He gave His creation, is something we could spend eons studying, and yet, there would never be an end to our questions. Because in His INFINITE knowledge, He created enough signposts in nature that will always turn our eyes to Him, the one who is our comfort.

He spoke again. He said, "Enjoy the wonder."

Immediately I thought of the verse "your works are wonderful, I know that full well". He reminded me that when I don't understand His timeline, His activities or perceived inactivities, His purpose, etc. - not to doubt, but to wonder - to be in awe of the work He is doing, even if I don't understand it or can't see it. To remember that the Lord who spoke the stars into existence, the one who colors the trees every season, is working, and though I cannot understand the working, I can be confident that the promise had not been forgotten, I have not been forsaken and the Lord is actively working wonders, to bring the promise to pass in due time.

So if you are a lady "in waiting" like me, turn the waiting into "wonder"ing. Be in awe of the wonders God is working on your behalf. Be confident that you are not forsaken nor forgotten. Look up at the stars tonight and say to yourself, the same God who made the stars and hung them in this velvet sky is working the same kind of wonder to bring His promises to come in my life. I give you permission to get excited, to anticipate the promised gift (like the child anticipating birthdays and Christmas, who hopes for some promised gifts and awakes to find them and besides, a load of other gifts never even asked for).

Happy wondering!